Ignorance

I feel pretty stupid even doing this blog because I'm using it as an outlet to say everything I feel I can't say otherwise. But last night was a case in point, what do you do with feelings and opinions that you have no outlet for?

I'm trying hard to engage as minimally as possible in things (people) that frustrate me, but because of my circumstance I'm forced to listen to Bill O'Reilly as I get ready for bed. The name of his show is the "the no spin zone". Yet, the whole show is nothing but his spin on stuff. So, because my little girl started waking up when I came in to change and I started to snuggle her, I asked her father to please turn it off so she didn't wake up and stay awake. He wouldn't. His contention holds some water. He was watching it and she didn't start to wake up until I came in and started to change. But in my glorious irrationality, I'll go ahead and blame Bill for waking her up! LOL

I couldn't help myself though, I broke my rule and I Engaged.

"Why on earth do you watch this moron, again?" I say while simultaneousy putting a hand over my daughters ears and patting her back to get her back to sleep, deciding to engage beyond what's immediately relevant.

Here we go. He proceeds to goon and on about how he agrees with his side more than Democrats. He's sick of working and paying taxes for all of his money to go to the poor people of Bridgeport that elected governor Malloy, and now money gets taken out of his check and goes to them, because that's how Malloy will thank them.

What?! He's a smart man. Partly because it reminds me of our incredibly dysfunctional relationship, that he neither knows me at all nor listens to anything that I say, partly because he's the father of two of my children and I don't want them hearing this nonsense, but mostly because he's perpetuating the biggest problem in our country. Ignorance.

Making blanket statements about a whole socio-economic class and what they value IS ignorant. Of course he got hung up on that word and refused to hear anything else I said. But, that's normal. He says, "you know what I meant". No, I don't. How could I? Have I ever seen him around "poor people"? No, I haven't. Welfare is not the problem. Are there people to try to milk the system. Of course. Many could draw straws about who doesn't. How many people "overestimate" their charitable contribution on their taxes? Many who share his opinions decide that last years taxes should count toward that.

I don't mean to oversimplify. I truly am an Independent, neither republican or democrat. I feel that they're equally on opposite sides of the spectrum, and then too often equally neutral on the issues that need to be addressed...a person who is milking the system is in the wrong. But there are not so many of them that they are what's raising taxes. Connecticut is the "tax you to death" state...all residents would agree. But, just as I said in my last post these extreme journalists perpetuate this ignorance. I have a better knowledge of government programs than the average person for sure, as I worked in that industry. However, you don't need any specialized training to educate yourself or at least be aware that if you have not been there..if you have not been raised on welfare, or been a recipient that you have no right to generalize or speculate about how those people think, feel, or view their circumstances...which are as varied as you and your neighbors.

These programs...not just welfare, but other programs that are designed to educate, and improve the ability of those in dire circumstances to rise above and both create and want more for themselves....are not perfect but at the core are designed to be temporary. There are many, who like yours truly have used them in just that way. When I was very young my Dad fell off the roof at his job and was in a wheelchair. Thanks to government programs, he was able to go back to school and gain some education that allowed him to improve his work situation. He did this in order to qualify for the help that he needed in order to make ends meet for his young family. He went back to work before he was healed since he was going to school and was able to see a desk in his work situation. Should my Mom have had to go back to work and leave my wheelchair bound father to care for an infant and a two year old? Today that's what would have been required, but back then it was allowed and accepted for a parent to be at home with the kids....the system has changed since then. The other time in my life that I was on assistance that I can remember was when I was working on my degree, had four kids, AND decided to get a divorce. Yes, all of it was my fault. I am not blaming my situation on anyone other than my own messed up mentality, and my ex-husband. Oh, she was on welfare!? No, I wasn't. Because I was able to get child support garnished from my deadhead ex. If you can get child support, you don't qualify for assistance. And you have to give them info, they'll get it for you. If you can't get it (for whatever reason, the state will do everything they can to try to find him) you are only able to qualify for 36 months of assistance lifetime max...that applies for both you and your kids. If you received welfare from ages 3-6, and you need it when you're older, you cant get it. The idea behind this Clinton passed guideline is that it's temporary. You can't live off of assistance. It's not enough. My child support for four kids was $656. My qualifiable assistance amount? $639. Most people get more than that for less kids with child support and can't make it. Because I had already gotten two years of school done I was able to qualify for a program to help me get my bachelors (normally this would be for an associates...hardly enough education to do much with, but the point is to get a skill to better your situation. Did I get paid to go to school? No. Did I get my tuition paid for? No. I did get $2500 from a Pell Grant that helped with my tuition. But I have student loans for the rest. The program paid for my daycare costs while I went to work and school, I had to continue full time at school to qualify, and had to work at least 20 hours a week. Ironically, and most people are smarter than me and have less kids (though some have more...just had to out that out there...lol). My daycare costs were more than my income and child support combined. And that's with only after school care for two of them.

My point is that these programs don't make anybody rich. They are designed to be temporary, and they have all kinds of rules, regulations, and documentation requirements, and full disclosure to qualify for. Do some people find ways around these and cheat the system. Of course. But some people rob banks too. To say that these few who work that hard to be lazy and get not enough money to live on are the entire problem is like saying you have to pay interest at your bank just to cover these robberies. Let's educate ourselves. I am a contributing member of society. I am self sufficient, and debt free (except my mortgage and my student loans...of course). These programs need to be monitored and try to catch those people who are cheating, and they are. This is tax money too.

While I am grateful that the under a year assistance that my father received when I was a baby helped him to move my family from working class to middle class. And I am grateful forth daycare assistance I received for 16 months so I could get my degree to better allow me to support my family. I was forced to live on a very tight budget, which taught me to be responsible with my money. I refuse to pay interest on silly things like credit card debt. I live within my means, and that, in this day and age is an education that many who never were on assistance still haven't learned...and that is truly the biggest financial crisis in our country today. Perspective is key and before you try to make a point by making ignorant statements like "inner-city poor people just get all the money and don't care that we break our backs and get nothing in return for them to get a hand out". Do yourself, and the future generation you're raising that is hearing you spout off, a favor and take a drive through the inner-city and find out about those programs and their requirements for qualification. Educate yourself! Don't just be dismissive of an entire group of people, first understand that you likely have no real life understanding of their circumstances. And you have no understanding at all of the programs that exist.