We all objectify

I love reading blogs.  I love reading everyone's different perspectives.  Most of the blogs I read are just refreshing and enlightening, I love everybody's different ways of expressing themselves and their thoughts. There's one blog that I love that really is irreverant.  I love the energy and angle that they use to incite discussion and can't resist commenting often because it does just that. 

So...a comment that I posted was deleted and suppose to be posted, but drama ensued....it doesn't really fit in with the crap that I ramble on about here, but ZAG posted for me, so I'm gunna put some of what I wrote here for her since she didn't get the chance to see what I wrote....and even I don't have a copy (hate rewrites, they're never as clever as the original), I did sent what's below via e-mail after my original comment was deleted "to post", since I had to edit so much out of it to get it to fit as a comment:

"We've all heard the reference to Marilyn Monroe being a size 14...in the 60's she was the bomb.  I wish I lived in the 60's, I'd be the bomb!  But I'd also probably be an uneducated nitwit who's only goal in life was pleasing my husband with my meatloaf drenched in butter while raising our chances of dying
from clogged arteries, and beating my kids until they learned not to speak their mind.  Point being, nothing is ever idealic.  Back then, women had healthier and more attainable standards for how they looked, but were not appreciated for their minds, or encouraged to develop them.  Boy, did men did have it good back then!  Lol.  Size 14 was the ideal then; sloppy, hairy, braless, and unclean was the theme of the 70s; 8-10 was good for the 80's; somewhere through the 90s and 2000's 0 and 00 became the ideal size, if the trend were to continue, we'd have to start using negative measurements, size 14 would be considered morbidly obese...not just "plus" as it is now. 

 

Furthermore, women can also get enjoyment out of men liking their curves, their ass, their boobs, their whatever...every woman likes to be told she's
beautiful....to have a man look in your face and say how beautiful you are?  That could seal the deal for some!  To each their own, and while some women may enjoy facials (or say they do to fulfill your porno fantasies), it's never going to provide a mutual appreciation/enjoyment situation that the others will.  Its demeaning in its core, and masochistic at its heart.  Like a dog pissing on a tree to mark his territory.  "in your face!" "saving face" "losing face" where do all of those sayings get their meaning from?   Without going totally sappy here, the face/eyes/and their ability to express feeling
are the window to your soul, and it would represent a new level of objectification, in my book, if that were to become the norm.  I could be with you if you had said some of the other ways of appreciating a pretty face:  kissing?  Watching a pretty face please you?  Concentrating on it to avoid looking at the rest of her body?  I don't think it will replace ass for minority men, boobs for white men, or both for Show (oh and C4, less vocal, but equally appreciative of both, albeit in smaller packaging).  A pretty face will never go out of style, because she can have that with T&A, without T&A, or with too much T&A.  Therefore it will never replace T or A."

 

So, to end my thoughts about all that is written I'll just say this:  Men and women both objectify each other....if you boil initial
attraction down to it's raw form, it's objectification.  When you first see someone, you see a set of desirable or undesireable physical attributes (objects): hair, face, shoulders (I love broad shoulders!), chest/boobs, abs/gut, ass, legs, HANDS (love big hands!).  All of those tell us whether or not we want to move forward and investigate the mind to see if it will sustain us.  The dangerous objectification comes when we don't get beyond that, when we see the mind, and dismiss it, and continue to focus on those attributes.  If you're with a girl who can only stimulate you sexually and cannot sustain a conversation, then well, it's the same thing as a girl who loves a guys' Barry White  voice even though she can't understand a damn thing he saying with it.  LOL.  It's all objectification, I guess I'm just saying it's a shame if you can't evolve beyond that.....and a greater shame if we play into it knowing there's no respect there.  ZAG is right, what really matters is what's inside his/her head and heart, and the connection between two people. 

 

Y ya esta!

Pensive

Well, life pretty much sucks often.  LOL.  Just kidding. I'm not a glass half full or glass half empty kind of a person.  I'm a that's not enough water to quench my thirst, but it's better than nothing kinda girl.  I am a realist.  I believe there's good in everyone and that we also all have a lot to learn, and say and do stupid things.  I'm the poster child for that. 

So anyway none of that is neither here nor there.  I've been doing okay for the past little bit, all things considered.  I'm keeping my head above water.  Trying to get ready for a recertification exam that has me stressed out.  It would be nice if life would stop and let you catch a breath sometimes, but hey well, it doesn't we all know that.  But it still would be nice.....like a freeze frame.

So anyway.  I have some fabulous friends, old and new, nothing better than a good friend who knows all your business and there are no holds barred.  Went to Scotland for a week. Had a lovely time.  Really.  Amazing, I love other cultures and went there for my friend and helped her through an emotional time.  Love her so much that it was so hard for me, knowing all the crap that she's been through in her own life to see her struggling.  She's been my rock.  I got to be hers for that week.  When someone gets you fully and you feel safe and protected by sharing with them because they help you see your shortcomings while acknowledging that they are just that, and they help you through.  When people are low and struggling and feel backed against the wall, we often shit on...or should on, as I always say the ones we love.  That happened.  I kept it all in perspective realizing she was having a hard time and lashing out, and didn't take it personally, I guess until I couldn't really until the jabs got so personal that it hurt to hear it coming from someone who you would entrust not just your life, but your kids as well.  And the person that normally helped me through this kind of shit?  Was the one heaping it on me.

Sometimes you have to dangle on your own.  You have to dangle on your own to realize that you have the strength to get yourself out of the predicament.  You can dangle and cry and feel sorry until you lose the ability to hold on completely and fall into a worthless heap, feeling bad that no one helped you.....or you freaking push yourself to find a foothold and regain some strength until you can find a better one that takes the pressure off.  I did that.  It was hard, I'm not an island, and no one should have to be, but your friends and those you count on are there for support, if you don't have faith and trust in yourself and your own knowledge of who you are, you'll inevitably flail and those who support you out will get tired of doing so, you'll wear them down....

Everyone has their own unique combination of strengths and flaws, find the balance and believe in yourself.